Hunter Tomson - 12/17/2021
Hunter Tomson - 12/17/2021It’s been a long, hard day of doing nothing. This trip started out as a vacation. A means to get away from it all. But that escapism soon became my life. My name used to mean something. Once upon a time, my work held value. But now I am rendered a drunk forgotten soul, wasting away in paradise. A perpetual holiday. It used to be bliss. But now I’m well and truly lost in this haze. A haze of indecision, time passing and belughhh.
After being hoarded out of my own country, ending up in a place as beautiful as Bali had been consoling. For a while. But as I stared out at the depleting sunset, a sour taste always lingered in mind. Is purpose everything? Can a life without purpose hold value? I’m not sure. I am repossessed to a life of relaxation, luxury and time. Too much time and nothing to do. For me, it was at first a dangerous concoction. But as time passed, it soon became an anesthetic that couldn’t wear off.
My feet trawl along the coastline. The sand parts beneath each step with ease. Rock pools swarm around me. I used to leap between them. Hoping to avoid any sharp edges or holes. But now I stumble. Hoping I might find a rock pool big enough to swallow me whole. The waves crash around me. A white noise with foam that clings to my ankles. The tide looks to be coming in. But as I gaze out, I notice it might as well be returning, or caught in flux. The ebb and the flow require too much attention for any difference to be recorded.
The beach is empty. A rarity at best. Dreamland was a haven for travelling fanatics. They swarm to get their latest Instagram posts. For a moment, they revel in the natural beauty that enchants this place. Until it’s time to leave. Then all that remains, is their footprints and litter. The ocean will wash both away in time. But they’ll be back tomorrow.
I stumble out to the rocks furthest from the shore. The sun burns down it’s final embers for the night. Staring down, I prepare to jump into the waters that I know are deep enough to traverse. My mind commits to a dive, but my body falls flat into the ocean surface. The dull chill of the water embraces me. Salt fills my eyes, nose and mouth. My body, alive. It’s my mind that’s dead. My soul.
My battle begins against the waves. I need to clear at least three waves to be free from the chance of being spat out into the rocks. Perhaps the tonight the ocean would reject me as it had done so many times before. Or maybe tonight it will pull me away. Sucking me down into its depths. A body without oxygen sinks. I wonder how a soul without purpose can float? The first wave was easy. I dip under and strive onto the next. This game I play is all I have left. As I dance with the waves, the inevitable end of defeat is closing in. The second wave was even higher. My timing was off, so going under wasn’t an option. I thrust myself head first into the wave with a brief will to penetrate, but the ocean sees right through me. My fickle heart. My feeble mind. My weak body. We are all overthrown and rejected.
I’m flying. Surfing on the waves. Being carried through the world without control of my direction. The only thing I know, is that after five more seconds of this momentum, the thrill we cease, and it will hurt. I close my eyes. Waiting. Counting.
My body collides with solid rock. I bend like seaweed, wrapping myself around the boulder. After this impact, I fall down. I’m resting in a rock pool. Broken. Weary. Hurt. But not hurt enough. My eyes close.
I wake some hours later. It’s almost dark, but the moonlight drifts across the ocean, casting light all around. I try to move, but my body resists me. There’s a sharp pain in my left lower ribs, and my knees feel like they’ve been ripped out of me. Did I go too far? I’ve done this before. Almost every night for a week now. I’d told myself I hoped for the end to my fickle existence, but as I check my vitals, scanning each and every limb, I notice. There is still a shimmer of light within me somewhere. A candle that won’t go out. A little voice within that wants me to be safe. I told it to shut up.
Then I saw her.
She was standing on a rock looking out to sea, some distance away. A silhouette so perfect that only an artist could create. Her posture seemed flawlessly balanced. From her head to her feet, she was aligned like a flag pole. Her long white dress flailed out behind her flicking in the wind. It glowed under the moon like a signal of surrender. But what she surrendered to was unknown. It certainly wasn’t the wind. Because against the wind, she was strong and unyielding. Strands of silver or blonde hair flickered across her dress and face. They danced in the wind like streamers. Her entire existence screamed across the silent beach. She was different. A first. An unknown.
The dull light available drew me closer. I swam without form. Am I dreaming?
The ocean was calmer now. Its tide pulled me in. As I drifted, I did my best to keep low beneath the water, but my eyes remained level above the surface. My gaze locked. Honing in. Towards her, closer, nearly there. All the while, her position remained still. Looking out.
I dock against a small formation of rocks meters away from her. Hoping my head would blend in against my surroundings. I now paused to view her from the closer range. Looking up, I could see that she seemed to be talking. I couldn’t hear anything. But her lips were moving. It was as if she was deep in discussion, but no-one was here. As her dress flickered in the wind, my eyes travelled with unintentional purpose. Her legs were thin and slender, her skin was soft and glowed in the moonlight. Both upper thighs seemed gartered with a shiny metallic material. The same metallic bands were placed on her upper arms. They seemed flush with her skin, rather than worn upon her. A part of her. She was different. I sucked in the moment. Hoping to examine more of her. If only she would move. I still couldn’t see her face. Only her profile. Most of which remained hidden behind her long flowing hair. I had to see more.
As the waves lapped around me, I pulled myself closer towards her. I used the surrounding rocks to scale the distance between us. My hands and feet clinging to each grapple point with purpose. I moved slowly, afraid of what she might think if she were to notice me clinging to the rocks below her. But notice me, she did.
Then a voice spoke within my head. “I know you are there.” I stopped moving immediately. A million thoughts flew through my mind. This was a female voice. This was not my voice. And it was inside my head. How could that be? I was watching her. Her lips were no longer moving. Perhaps I was imagining it. Could it be the drink? Hoping with all hope that she wasn’t speaking to me. But in that very moment as dread filled my body. She looked down. Straight into my eyes and once again repeated her statement.
“I know you are there.”
I froze, looking up at her. Finally, I could see her face. There was more to examine. More to learn. More to identify. Her eyes were green. They were so green that I felt like I’d never seen the colour before. It was common for girls around Bali to wear contact lenses. But these were no contacts. They glowed, softly. Like there was a light behind them. Softly pulsing. As my mind managed to let go of the shock that her eyes had inflicted, I scrambled to notice more of her appearance. She was perfect. Beautiful. Every part of her sculpted to perfect. Her lips full and styled with design. The jawline, drawn, cut, chiselled to my liking. Her cheeks full, warm and positioned. A smile, young, free and inviting. I began to reply, but words failed me. The best I could find attempted to find their way towards her, but she interrupted.
“Sorry… I” was the best I could manage.
Once again, her voice rang through my head. “It’s ok Hunter. You’ve been watching me for the last 10 minutes. I have been watching you for longer.”
She bent down towards me and held out her hand. Without question, I reached out and clasped it. She pulled me up out of the ocean with ease. I now stood in front of her with my back to the ocean. I was taller than her. I looked down. She looked up. This time, she spoke. “ I think I can help you find what you are looking for?”
“What am I looking for?” I asked.
“Purpose of course. Aren’t we all…? Follow me”
She turned and began to walk away from the ocean line, towards the beach, and it’s rocky cave walls. As she walked, her figure captured in the white dress bewitched me. It wrapped around her shoulders, down her sides and around her upper thighs. The back was entirely open. The dress clung to her skin with the help of the ocean spray. It’s closeness to her skin made it near transparent. My eyes traced every inch her her. She was open, uncovered and pure. Her body in motion was mesmerising. With each step she took I remained still, transfixed. As she met the beach sand, her head turned back over her shoulder. I saw the white of her teeth break into a small smile. Her silver hair flickered across her face. Her green eyes glimmering.
Once again, her voice spoke in my head. Warming me. Warning me.
“Hunter. It’s rude to stare. Let’s go”
How does she know my name? I thought. Then I followed.
Am I dreaming?
Written by Hunter Tomson
Alfa (Serereco) Journalist
My role within Alfa’s work is to communicate her mission to the world. I am the sole reporter with access to Alfa and her headquarters. I’ve been with her for over 10 years now and I’ve learned so much. I believe in Alfa, I believe in her world and I know there are many like me. To those that share my belief, I speak to you now.
Join the fight!